Music

[rav96]

THE EMO DIARY!!!

Monday

Today I was alive so I got up. Yet another day I must live in this horrid place. Ah! The world, so full of intolerance and pain. Oh well, at least there is love. Love to make the days in this place bearable. Love to make the world seem so nice, so nice and pretty. I live on the edge of love. On one side, love and all the wonders of?love, and on the other side heartbreak and despair. My life is such a precious, precariously balanced thing, balanced between love and oblivion. Just because I have never had a girlfriend, doesn?t mean I don?t know what love is. I know what real heartbreak is too. I know more than they could ever know.
I have the latest Dashboard Confessional record. Such a delicate, loving sentient being am I.
Woe is me.


Tuesday

I followed a girl down the street today. She was so beautiful. Like a rose. A beautiful rose. She didn?t even notice me. Why does nobody notice me? I knew from the moment I saw her, we were meant to be. But I knew that if I tried to speak to her, I would probably die. So I didn?t.
Yet again happiness is ripped away from me, like strips of Velcro being pulled apart. Ripped. Ripped from me so mercilessly.
I smoked the last of my Marlboro lights whilst I watched the sun go down. It was so beautiful. If only she could have been there.
I cry.


Wednesday

I broke my glasses. The humanity. Like somehow I was destined from birth to break them, today. Today of all days. An unavoidable curse on my being. My affliction. I cry.


Thursday

Today there were these kids on the train staring at me. One of them had a ?Saves the Day? shirt on. Poser! Thinking he?s emo. I?ve probably got more emotion in my little finger than all the poser kids in the world. He probably only likes them because they?re popular now. Not like me, I used to like them when they first came out. I?d heard of them before their first 7? came out, even. I don?t like them now, not since they went all ?commercial?. I?m much more into ?Complex Theory Syndrome? and ?Heart-shaped Waffle Maker? at the moment. I haven?t actually heard them, but I bought their t-shirts over the Internet a few days ago. I read in my friend?s zine that they were really cool. Well, he?s not really my friend but I stand next to him and his girlfriend at shows sometimes. He likes ?Honeysuckle Serotina?. He?s cool. I?ve never heard of them. God, why does no one understand me? Why does no one really know what it is like to be me?


Friday

I?m too emotional to write anything today. I?m gonna stay in and think about my life and listen to Dashboard?again.


Saturday

I?m going to a gig tonight. ?My Kitty Died? are playing the club. I don?t usually like going there because there?s no real scene, no sense of community, family. So if I do go I usually stand in the corner. I?m gonna wear my new ?Complex Theory Syndrome? shirt that came today. Maybe someone will see it and think I?m cool. Maybe even a girl. Maybe a girl who will truly understand me and love me forever. They?re being supported by some Goth band though. Ugh. I hate Goths. They?re always so miserable?and not even for the right reasons. But yeah, I?ll have to try and get there after ?Shitting Bats? have finished. Ugh.
I pricked my finger on a badge pin when I was trying to arrange all my badges nicely on my pack-back. I watched the blood flow from my finger. Another drop of blood that will never again run through the channels of my heart. Blood, which will never again course through my veins when I see her face.
I got it on my new t-shirt. I cry.


Sunday

Today I had pizza. It was nice.
I watched old cartoons and pondered on the innocence of youth.
Dashboard was mentioned in Kerrang apparently. I don?t really like them anymore anyway.